Live, Love...Shine

The Road to a Better Life

2012-01-29T05:50:00.001-08:00

Reading blogs has become one of my favorite pastimes. I read some about cooking, some about being a mom, some about marriage, some about self improvement and some that cover all those topics and then some. They can really be a good source of info, entertainment, and support when you think you're the only one dealing with a particular situation. One of the first blogs that I began following on a regular basis was The Young Mommy Life (YML). I could totally relate to her topics of discussion. I was young, I was a mom and I was definitely trying to become my best self. The author of this blog is surely an inspiration to young moms and all moms, who are balancing relationships, motherhood, and a successful career.. Check her out when you can on facebook and at http://www.theyoungmommylife.com/

Scrolling through my fb feed the other morning I came across a link from YML titled "Stop Doing This for a Better Life" http://www.theyoungmommylife.com/2011/12/15/stop-doing-this-for-a-better-life/
The author made reference to another blog post titled "30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself"
http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/11/30-things-to-stop-doing-to-yourself/
where a blogging couple lists tips of behaviors to change when in the process of self transformation and becoming your best you. The YML author gives her top 5 from the list of 30, which I thought were totally on point. However, for me personally I take away a slightly different group. Here are my top 5 (reminders), what would yours be?

#4 Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

#7 Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

#8 Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

#12 Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

#14 Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

These are really great reminders, check out all the links above for the full list when you can. I hope that you will benefit as well.. Changing your thinking will change your life.. Remember to live, love, and shine!!!

Day #26

2012-01-26T04:35:00.000-08:00

Day #26 Color
So somewhere along the way brown became my favorite color. I just simply love all of its hues and shades. I'm not quite sure how or when it happened but a large amount of my clothes are brown. I think these earthy tones look great on me. Brown is also the first color my husband noticed that I wore before we actually met (there's such a cute story that goes along with that). I guess brown and I have a history. Not sure how many others would call it their favorite color but it's mine, I love it and I'm cool with it!!

Day #25

2012-01-25T20:38:00.000-08:00

Day #25 Something You Made
There are so many ways I could have gone with this one, but I decided to keep it simple :-) I started sewing when I got married almost 14 years ago, I had no formal training just a machine and a friend who taught me how to thread it, and sew a straight line. The rest I learned through trial and error. I quickly began making clothes and bags. Making totes became one of my favorite things to do and I even began making a profit from my work. My company name is Inspired Apparel and although I’ve taken time off from my machine, I plan to begin sewing again really soon and incorporating new products (tutus, aprons, and accessories). So keep your eyes open for our reintroduction, I’m sure I’ll make something that you’d love to have :-)

Day #24

2012-01-24T20:34:00.000-08:00

Day #24 Guilty Pleasure
Milk & Cookies, a dessert I have far more often than I need to. I just love these ready to bake Pillsbury Simply Chocolate Chip Cookies. Several times a week I heat my oven to 350 degrees and bake them until they’re golden but still soft, yum, they just melt in your mouth.. I often wait until my kids are asleep or my favorite show comes on to enjoy them. A perfect way to end my often hectic days..

Day #23

2012-01-23T18:00:00.000-08:00

Day #23 Something Old
Yup it’s a trusty straightening comb! I’m not quite sure how old this thing is but my mom gave it to me and there’s no telling how long she had it. Man does the sight of it bring back memories!! Me in front of a hot stove with either my mom or grandmother.. They took their time with me and we talked and laughed, I could feel the love..

Photo-A-Day Challenge

2012-01-23T17:04:00.000-08:00

I came across this photo-a-day challenge a few days into January and thought it might be interesting to try it.. I took a few pictures that I intended to post but I never got around it, and then I stopped taking the pics altogether. A friend saw the photo of the challenge on my fb page and thought it'd be cool to do it with me (I had previously attempted to get someone to play along with no success) Her excitement renewed my interest, and now I'm looking forward to sharing my daily photos with you!! Enjoy..

From boyish to stylish..

2012-01-23T15:35:00.001-08:00

The first time I ever saw the green Hunter boots shown below I fell instantly in love.. Anything that slightly resembles a high-top Chuck Taylor converse is often my style.. This boot was beyond adorable, I loved the green and tan color combination and the height was perfect, this boot was just too cute to be a MEN'S boot, but it was.

I've always loved men's clothes. Maybe that comes from growing up in a household with no sisters. I will wear a button down shirt and some jeans in a heartbeat, I'm just that kinda girl. I will find a way to feminize it with accessories, but I definitely have no problem wearing a relaxed look. When I was younger my friends would applaud (literally) when I wore skirts because it was a rare occurrence.

Fast forward to this weekend when my hubby surprised me with the boots!! I'm so spoiled!! I love them even more when I'm wearing them. I'm mad that they're rain boots because now I want it to rain just so I can wear them :-) Of course now I need outfits to go with them so I decided to go to polyvore.com and piece so items together. The finished product is pictured below, what do you think? It works right? I just took these boots from boyish to stylish, now let's go shopping!!

From boyish to stylish.. by roca-inspired featuring a gold cocktail ring

What a Difference TWO YEARS Makes..

2012-01-07T22:18:00.000-08:00

Are you serious, two years have flown by and I haven't posted a thing. Well it be's like that sometimes. Life has changed quite a bit since the last time I posted.. I have relocated back to Atlanta and I am now the mother of THREE amazing kids. I'm no longer punching a clock, but instead am a full-time stay at home mom and I'm enjoying it. Life is good..

Having a young child with a crazy sleep pattern, I find myself up at all times of the night. Instead of staring at the wall when I'm feeding her at some ridiculous hour when everyone else is asleep, I've taken to reading all kinds of blogs, from food to parenting to fashion. There are really some great writers out there. Well needless to say, I've once again become inspired to try this thing out, to get back into writing here. I have no clue how this will go, I'm just gonna go with with. I invite you AGAIN to come along on this journey with me ;-) Let's live, love, shine, and write together!!

A Year in Review: 2009

2009-12-31T20:54:00.000-08:00

2010 is literally hours away. So many people are setting goals for the new year, planning to work out more, eat better, go back to school and the list goes on. Some will follow through but unfortunately some won't. Some people don't understand why others set goals for the new year, they feel that if you were really going to change you would have done it already.. Interesting perspective but I believe that the new year can be a motivation for those who need that extra boost.

I personally set goals throughout the year and looking back on 2009 I find that I have met the majority of them and I am very proud of my accomplishments. I reached the big 3-0, I've met some really great positive people and reconnected on a higher level with others. I graduated from grad school earning A's in almost all my classes (I should have challenged that one B), I've made a difference in the lives of some girls/women who thought no one cared, I got a position at an agency who's mission I support and is a passion of my own, I've learned some great life lessons, succeeded in doing some things I wasn't sure I was ready to do, but did well due to great support, lived, loved, and have got my shine on!! I have learned to see the opportunity in difficulty and believe I have come out of 2009 with a more positive attitude than I've ever had.

I am really looking forward to 2010 and all of the joy and success it will bring. I've set some new goals for myself and my family and will revisit those that weren't accomplished in 2009. I'm ready to face fears and continue to live life to the fullest!! Hope you start or continue a journey of your own..

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"
~Anais Nin

It's Never Too Late...

2009-07-10T08:34:00.000-07:00

In light of so many celebrities and non-celebrities who have passed away recently I wonder what people will remember most about them when they reflect back on their lives. Do their good deeds, charity, talents, and compassion outweigh any negative they may be attributed to them? In life we all go through different stages. At times we may be happy, giving, loving, loyal and at other times not so much. When I think about the legacy that I will leave behind I want it to be one where my good far outweighs my bad. No one is perfect, we are all faced with trials and tribulations in this life, and in spite of it all, we all have the ability to decide how much we are willing to love, to care, and to give. I must admit I haven't always been the most positive person. I’ve had rough patches, been sad, and down, and unfortunately that may have been reflected in the way I treated or was seen by others. Knowing this about myself I have made a sincere effort to make personal changes..changes for the better, because when it's all said and done, I want to be known as someone who gave to others in whatever way possible, not someone who depleted their happiness with my issues (yes! this can happen). So I choose to live life to the fullest, helping myself and others along the way. I personally believe that it's never too late to make a change, to make a difference, to think positive rather than negative, to give instead of take...

So how will you be remembered..

I will leave you with a quote from a movie that I watched recently that really gave me something to think about when I heard it, I hope it does the same for you.. "I hope that you've lived a life that you're proud of and if not that you have the strength to start over"....

It's Never Too Late..

My Pen and My Paper..

2009-07-02T14:07:00.000-07:00

Writing has always been therapeutic for me. Since I was a little girl I've written poems, short stories, thoughts, dreams, goals and more. To me, it's one of the most beautiful forms of self-expression. I've always been careful with what I write, keeping it mostly to myself, guarding it from the rest of the world. Well, I'm attempting to branch out just a little now with this blog. Although I have a few posts that I've published here so far, I've only invited one friend to read. Well today I'll extend myself a little further and invite a few more. I plan to be more consistent with my postings and we'll see how this thing goes. I'm attempting to let down my guard just a little and open myself up.. Here I go..

Lasting Impressions...

2009-07-02T12:47:00.000-07:00

About a year or so ago I joined facebook based on a recommendation from a friend who thought it was one of the easiest ways he had come across to stay in contact with current friends and to link up with old ones. It sounded pretty cool so I jumped on it. So far I've had nothing but good experiences.. I've had the chance to stay up to date with what all my good homies are doing and have reconnected with some people from my past who were near and dear to me. It's been great to see how so many of my friends from high school and beyond have blossomed into positive, productive, and professional beings.

A few days ago I got a friend request from a guy I went to elementary school with. Initially I looked at his profile picture and thought, I don't know him, and then looked at his name and thought ooooohhhhh I remember now. We weren't the tightest of the tight but he was cool peoples. I accepted his friend request and had intentions on sending him a "hey, how ya doing" but hadn't gotten around to it before he sent me a message. His message thanked me for accepting him as a friend and he went on to say that he had to have me as a friend because he had heard my name "just about everyday" (I'm sure it wasn't that much) from childhood to adulthood. He says that a mutual friend from school "never ever" stopped talking about me. He says "it was like you were Laura Winslow and he was Steve Erkle", now that was hilarious. He says "as I look back over life it's just one of those things that you first grin and then smile about". WOW!! I wasn't expecting that.

I messaged him back and told him that I thought that was really funny. I really didn't know what else to say about his comments except to ask if he still maintained contact with the mutual friend. I sent the message and for some reason I kept trying to remember the last time I'd talked to "Steve" (LOL) and if I was kind to him the last time we talked. See, we had a lil puppy love type thing going on in 5th grade or so, but in 6th grade I changed schools and we lost frequent contact. I remember that he would call me from time to time, but I have to admit that I don't remember if I was always the kindest when he did. Pre-teen/teen girls can be harsh at times, well at least I was, I had moved on and met new people and was doing new things. Throughout middle and high school he would call on occasion just to touch bases. To think about it, I also remember by brother telling me that he saw him a while back and that he asked about me.

Anywho, I get another message this morning that says that "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but "Steve" passed away about three years back"..My heart sank. He continues by saying that "that's why it was so important to me that I added you as a friend..because he spoke so highly of you". He says "I haven't seen you since grade school, but me and everybody else knows who you are thanks to "Steve". He was your biggest fan" WHAT?!? WOW!! I was stunned, First, I couldn't believe that he had passed and two that he had thought about me for so many years. Me..really..wow!!

I find myself being overly emotional these days, but this whole thing really touched me. I thought to myself that maybe I had begun contemplating whether or not I had been nice to him the last time we had contact because I could sense something in this whole situation. I only went to school with "Steve" for two years in 4th and 5th grades and he "never ever" stopped talking about me, so his friend says.

I am reminded through this experience about the importance of being kind and compassionate to others, you just never know what kind of impression you may make on them.. This situation will be with me for awhile, and I have really learned so much from it. I am saddened by the loss, but vow to soften my heart to all those I come in contact with no matter what the situation. You just never know what kind of lasting impression you may make...

RIP....

Spread your wings and fly...

2009-05-22T16:09:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me as a mother knows that I am extremely protective of my children. They are hardly ever away from me except for the occasional overnight stay with the grandparents and of course school and social activities like football, marital arts or dance classes, otherwise it’s me and them (or their dad of course). Not quite sure how I became this kind of mom but I guess I just want to protect them from all the craziness of the world and be there when they need me being the “best mom” I can be (whatever that is). Anyway when thinking back about my own childhood I’ve realized that my son who recently turned 10 (just this past Monday actually) doesn’t do half of the things I did at his age. He is chauffeured to and from school and any other activity and usually relies on me for almost anything he needs. By age 10 I was getting myself up, dressed, feed before school, and to school, I was practically handling my business, but my son is so much different. I wonder if sometimes I’m playing him too close..not allowing him the independence that he’s due. Can overprotection sometimes be a hindrance? So yesterday we’re hanging out together after dinner and the kids and I start talking about snacks we had a taste for. Out of nowhere I say hey why don’t you go to the store and pick up some things for us (did I just say that..that was really just a joke..really). He jumped at the chance..”sure Mom, I can do it, let me go”. After debating back and forth about whether or not he had to take his younger sister (she’ll be 6 in July) their dad and I decided to let them go. They would only have to cross three streets to get there (even though in my mind it seemed like miles) and we’ve been over the “look both ways first before crossing the street” talk a million times. Ok this was a huge step for them and me.. So we discuss what to get, how much money he should spend, to hold his sister’s hand when crossing the street, not to talk to strangers etc etc etc… I equip him with my cell phone and send them on their way. Of course the whole time they were gone I’m wondering if I should jump in the car and follow them, but with the help of my hubby I was able maintain my composure (he distracted me by talking about how much we used to do on our own at our sons age and younger). They arrive back home safely about 15 minutes later with everything they were supposed to get and he even presented me with the change. Ahh a sigh of relief. I realized that I really need to let go just a little bit and let these kids blossom, I don’t want my son or my daughter to grow up and not know how to survive on their own or be so spoiled they refuse to do anything for themselves. I know these streets are mean..this is Philadelphia, but I don’t want them to be completely sheltered (although that would hardly be the case.. I am still their mother). My son was so proud that I gave him that itsty bitsy bit of freedom and said to me as he was getting out of the car when I dropped him off to school this morning “See Mom..now you know I can walk to the store on my own”..these simple words were all I needed to hear, he is growing up and I need to allow him to spread his wings and fly!!!

The Cosby Show..Celebrating 25 years

2009-05-19T06:33:00.000-07:00

The Cosby Show is by far one of the best sitcoms ever to be shown on television. It's depiction of the Black family was an inspiration to all who watched. I can remember being a little girl and tuning in every Thursday night to see what would be new with the tv family I loved and now I watch the syndicated episodes with my own children sharing the same smiles and laughter that I did when watching it with my Mom and siblings so many years before. It's funny thinking back because I don't quite remember what I gained from viewing the episodes as a youngster, but I do know that I gain a huge amount watching it now. The Huxtables inspire me to be a better parent and spouse, they were so involved with their children, truly caring for and loving them yet would never hesitate to keep it all the way real! Cliff and Claire showed a black love that isn't often depicted on today's shows, they were compassionate and understanding yet playful and silly, they would relax after long days together, cuddle to music and massage each other's feet, I did and still do enjoy seeing them interact. This family with five children and parents who were a lawyer and physician showed that Black families can be more that what they are stereotyped to be..they can achieve their dreams and help their children get there too. I am so happy that this show continues to be shown and tune in with my family every chance I get. Yes..it's just television but it's good television and it may be the only display of a supportive black family that some black children and adults get to see.

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Shine..

2009-05-13T16:53:00.000-07:00

Music and I have a wonderful relationship, for me, music is like that big sister that you go to for support about everything from a broken heart to a new job. Me and music are tight. Any who I've been hearing this song lately with a really funky sound..just reminds me of summertime but I didn't recognize the voice of the songstress and always seem to miss her name and the title of the song when it comes on. So this morning, after blasting the song when it was played on one of my favorite morning shows, I decide to google a few of the lyrics. I search "from my heart to yours" and I find it!! Her name is Laura Izibor, cool.. so I pull up you tube and type her name into the search and up pops the song I've been grooving to the last couple of days and a few others. Great!! This one song in particular catches my eye, it's called "Shine" ok..so I play the video, and I love it. It's almost like it was made to be posted on this blog. I tend to look for inspiration any and ever where and this song will be added to be collection of pick me ups. Check out the song and groove with me..

I DID IT!!

2009-05-10T12:10:00.000-07:00

Well.. It's been exactly one year since my first post (even though that post was actually written in March..but any who) and quite a bit was happened since then. Yes..I followed through with my graduate school application and guess what? I was accepted.. I got my application in just in time to meet the deadline for acceptance into the advanced course curriculum which meant that I could graduate within 10 months. In July 2008 I began the Master's of Social Work graduate program at Temple University. Oh wait.. Did I mention that I also decided to resign from the job that was driving me insane.. well I did! I used up every bit of my personal, annual, and sick time, and left out of there with no regrets. My family did have to make some lifestyle changes, however it was nothing we couldn't handle..I must say that my husband and kids have been extremely supportive and I have been very thankful for that. So there I was..29 years old, a wife, and a mother of two and I was going back to school full time (I turned the big 30 in March..will blog about that later). Needless to say, school whipped my behind!! I'm not sure why I thought it would be easy, especially since I hadn't been to school in five years, but through it all I managed to kick butt. I got straight A's my first two semesters (yes some were actually A-'s but who cares an A is an A). And I am now I'm patiently awaiting the grades from my last and final semester. I have struggled through this program..I've had high highs, low lows, sleepless nights, drowsy mornings..but I'VE MADE IT!! They say nothing worth having comes easy, and I can attest to that, but I'm following my dreams, and I'm at the start of the path that is going to get me exactly where I want to be. My grades will be released on May 13th and graduation is May 14th so stay tuned for more updates.

Positive thinking and motivation have helped me through this process..so before I go let me leave you with this..

live with intention.
walk to the edge.
listen hard.
play with abandon.
laugh.
choose with no regret.
continue to learn.
appreciate your friends.
do what you love.
live as if this is all there is.
-mary anne redmacher

Are you following your dreams? If not..I hope that this will serve as some motivation..until next time!!

Take the risk...make a change

2008-05-10T09:14:00.000-07:00

03/01/2008
Are you living the life you've always dreamed about? Are you working in a profession you love? Are you excited about life when you wake in the morning because you know that your going to do something your passionate about? Many women have lost sight of the dreams and ambitions they had as young girls and have somehow settled into a life that is inside the box. I know I did.. After working a job for nearly four years that was secure but completely frustrating and mentally draining I thought to myself... is this how you want to spend the next 30 years. Looking around my workplace I saw the faces of those I'd worked with who were now retiring...old, drained, and unfulfilled. I knew that couldn't be me and that I needed to make a change and quick. Of course I began thinking about if I could really risk leaving this job to pursue my dreams...what about my bills, the benefits etc. In the back of my mind I remembered a poem that my Mother gave me while I was in high school. It's called Risk...

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk being called sentimental.
To reach out to another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk showing your true self.
To place your ideas and dreams before the crowd is to risk being called naïve.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken because the greatest risk is to risk nothing.
The people who risk nothing, do nothing, have nothing, are nothing and become nothing.
They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they are slaves, they’ve forfeited their freedom.
Only the people who risk are truly free.
Author Unknown

My mind was made up, I was ready to take that risk. I told myself that I would return to school to complete my master's degree and pursue the life I truly wanted. Amazingly things immediately began to fall into place. It became so obvious that I was on the right track and that this was what I was supposed to be doing. I was going to apply to Temple University and pursue my Master's degree in Clinical Social Work. I am ready to make a change and follow my dreams...here I go world!!

Stay tuned for further details ;-)